If you’re shy, you usually think:
“I don’t know what to say% & $.”
Your mind becomes empty. They have no interesting additions. No thought can help. There are no comments on this topic.
Here’s what’s going on …
There is a filter in your brain.
We all do it. Think of the coffee filter.
The elements of the osmotic filter, the soil and the water represent our thoughts …
… The result is coffee that represents our words.
If we have an idea, our filter decides:
- Yes, you can say that.
- Otherwise don’t say it.
There may be an overactive filter.
So nothing happened. It’s like a coffee filter that doesn’t filter coffee. You have filtered too many ideas.
This is a quote from Brad Brandon and his Radical Honesty filtering book.
Restricting others, but not telling us our feelings or thoughts, but locking us in. The longer we stay in prison, the more we will reduce our thoughts.
– Brad Brandon
In other words, filtering puts us in jail.
In the long run, it happens that you filter too much so that you no longer trust what you have to say.
Whenever you think of your own thoughts, you lose your voice.
Then what should you do?
Be free to say what comes to your mind.
(No, you think, but please read on.)
Bring your ideas to the outside.
If you speak honestly and honestly, people will recognize the harmony between you and you and allow you to communicate with them in good faith.
At this point, I may be thinking, “But I have no idea.” That is not true. I bet you have a lot of ideas. You are used to filtering them so strongly that you are not convinced that it is worth saying them out loud.
What should I do if we bring ourselves?
This is a 5-minute exercise (you can do it alone) that can help you stay in a state where you are talking to others.
Simply put, a person should speak out loud. Your brain is used to expressing your thoughts.
- Find a private place.
Nobody will listen to you anywhere. Just like your room or car. The key is that you don’t care that others listen to you.
- Speak freely
Ok, now only you and your thoughts. So let it flow. This is called the stream of consciousness.
All you have to do is say everything you can think of. Literally.
It seems strange to you, you will find that you are careful even when you are alone … but remember, only you, nobody can listen to you, so please say whatever you want! What we’re doing here is that you can turn off the filter.
- Do this for 5 minutes every day.
It takes at least 5 minutes a day. At first it is very difficult to hate the sound, but over time it becomes easier and it becomes easier to consume words.
- Record yourself (be brave)
Record how you speak and review
This makes you feel uncomfortable because it looks like someone is listening to you now. It is more real. But remember that you are always alone. So please keep in mind that this is the transition between your conversation with others.
You can use your microphone on your phone or computer. Go ahead and record your stream of consciousness for 5 minutes.
The more you do, the more comfortable you will feel.
Over time you will start to trust and even like the sound of your own voice.
With practice in social situations, it can be more difficult Not speak.