C.Omfort doesn’t come cheap, especially for someone dealing with a mood or anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, payment is often made in suspicious currency. Nobody likes to be uncomfortable. However, an hour of life says that this is the best way to find comfort. Let me finish
I am ready to feel so terribly uncomfortable, to accept my chosen reality and learn from it, if that is what it takes to ensure continued comfort.
It was 40 years ago and I was in the inpatient substance treatment unit for two weeks. My advisor asked me to his office and explained that the staff wanted me to start addressing my trust issues and the breakneck speed with which I was doing everything.
D.J. The challenge was set: wear a blindfold and do everything with the other hand for 24 hours. I agreed and found it an instructive exercise.
You don’t have to be Uncle Siggy to see the bottom line: you have to be uncomfortable to find comfort.
Very personal background
I want you to know how this very personal article was conceived. As I mentioned in last week’s article: Just Moved: 9 Personal Insights That SCREAM for my attention I recently moved – 350 miles out of state – near my daughter and grandchildren – nine and five years old.
Before moving, I lived alone. And since I left full-time work in February 2019, my social interactions have collapsed. Add COVID-19 social protocols to the equation and the sum is more isolated.
However, I have overcome various social inhibitions for decades. And I got used to being a little lonely and I liked it pretty much. Even so, I knew it wasn’t good for me and not the way I wanted to live.
A little more background information. My daughter and her partner owned their family home together. They separated earlier this year, leaving my daughter in a terrible traffic jam. How would she hold onto the house?
She never asked, but I offered to take out a refinanced mortgage with her. And since I would be moving into her forest neck anyway, we agreed that I would move in for a few months – until she could make some adjustments.
It’s my chosen reality
So here I am My daughter and grandchildren welcomed me with open arms.
Yes, but I feel uncomfortable. Let’s see: new furniture with mine in the warehouse, finding an acceptable “place” in the house, unfamiliar routines and noises, people around me when I prefer to be alone, when I am unable to write an article or read a book read whenever I want to because of distractions and more.
It’s all very different, but it’s my chosen reality.
I know I jump off like a grumpy old man, but I really am a cute guy. I feel uncomfortable, but I adjust more every day. Also, I know it’s not a permanent agreement.
The truth is, I know I had to get out of my self-imposed isolation and hug people, hug life. And I know that when I really experience my present, necessarily uncomfortable circumstances, I end up feeling so much more comfortable with myself and my place in the world.
I didn’t have to do that
You know what? I didn’t have to do that. I mean, I could have stayed where I was and rode off into the sunset. Sure, I would have interacted with people every now and then. Hell, I would have shown my face every three months here or in Baltimore, where my son and his wife live – the thing about birthdays and holidays.
But that’s not the life I want And in order to come to this life, I made the decision to turn my back on the too many false comforts with which I had surrounded myself. Enough! I am ready to feel so terribly uncomfortable, to accept my chosen reality and learn from it, if that is what it takes to ensure continued comfort.
Dang, I’m so mad that I put myself in this position. But anger provides energy and motivation for change, so I roll up my sleeves and get to work.
What about you?
I can’t be the only one in the midst of such circumstances. In a way, it could have happened to you and you chose to feel uncomfortable for solace. Maybe it went the other way, and now you’re going to reconsider.
Are you ready to accept the fact that comfort doesn’t come cheap? When, after self-examination, you learn what you call comfort a charade, are you ready to pay the price – to feel uncomfortable – to get yourself where you want to be?
Hey, you may be comfortable and straightforward. If it is you, God bless you. But what if it’s not you – like it wasn’t me? What are you going to do about it? Maybe it’s time for a life lesson.
I feel better after I’ve written this. It was important to me.
Are you looking for more information on mood and anxiety disorders? Then check out the hundreds of inspire4u titles. I know you will find something uncomfortably comforting.