I often hid myself when talking to people. Usually right men in the middle of a conversation.
It was frustrating to say the least. A tragic combination of shame and helplessness would come over me.
It would be difficult for me to find the right words. I would like to say something, but didn’t know what to say. And the craziest thing was, the more I tried, the more I would draw a blank, which meant I had nothing to say.
Note: Sometimes silence is necessary and I will cover this in another article …
Outside I smiled and nodded. But inside I went crazy. I just had to say something!
“The more I tried, the more my thoughts were hidden and I had nothing to say.”
If you can relate to it, read on.
Until I learned a technique called conversation threading
You can use this technique in every conversation. So you can relax and think about what to say next.
This is the basic concept: when you talk to someone A thread is a word that interests you.
Everything that causes something in your brain: a memory, an opinion or a feeling, for example.
There will be dozens of discussions during a conversation. So listen carefully. Each word can be a thread.
And having a conversation simply means pulling a thread with a statement or question. When someone speaks, listen to a word that interests you and use it to continue the conversation.
For example, suppose someone says …
“TODAY I WALK TO THE PARK WITH MY DOG.”
A short sentence, but full of information. There are 3 discussions in this sentence that I could start. And each of them opens up a complete line of discussion.
- YOU CAN TALK TODAY
- Today is the ideal day for the park.
- Do you have any other plans for today?
- YOU CAN TALK ABOUT PARKS
- Which park did you go to?
- I was in Yosemite Park last year.
- WHERE CAN YOU TALK TO DOGS?
- What kind of dog do you have?
- Dogs are the best …
- My friend has a great hunting dog.
This creates natural transitions from one subject to another.
Fluent and effortless conversations are the best. That is what we are aiming for.
Most people worry about what to say next. In the end, they don’t really listen, and then all these rich topics of conversation float away with the breeze.
Try to notice something that wakes something up in your head. Don’t try to filter and let the conversation flow.